I have a family member whose husband recently entered hospice care. Caring for a family with Alzheimer’s is extremely difficult and takes its toll physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The depth of the toll depends on how long the illness lasted and if there were other complications associated with it. Having experienced this as a caregiver for my dad, who was also my best friend, was beyond difficult. I am praying for her and her family.
I am writing about this because her mother, who lived in Florida, would welcome me with open arms and was gracious and generous with her time. She passed away a few years ago. I miss my Sunday calls with her. My cousin, as well, welcomed me and took me out a couple of times. I especially remember the time we went to the Keys and enjoyed a couple of drinks, sharing stories about our childhood. I am forever grateful for her kindness. I hope she knows how much I love her and her family.
Why am I sharing this?
We are family through my mother’s side of the family. There is a bond in our maternal family that is extremely strong, special and, I believe, unbreakable. I pray that all in the family feel the same.
Why am I mentioning this now?
As part of a family, all members, be it parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins, we have opinions that often differ. This is true in my maternal and paternal family. It is how we individually manage the differences of opinions that defines how much we honor and respect others to have and express their opinion. I also firmly believe it defines if my love is conditional or unconditional.
I have learned that when anyone has a different opinion, especially if I start to get annoyed, to remind myself to step back for a moment or two. Give myself time to remember that loving is unconditional and that getting annoyed may be putting a condition to that love.
My loyalty comes from my faith. First is God. In sequential order it is this:
- God
- My parents. Whether they were great, good bad or terrible, I do believe the commandment to “honor” thy mother and father.
- If married: children until they can care for themselves and then spouse.
- Siblings: these are the people that shared your childhood and many, if not all, transgressions should be forgiven.
- Grandparents, if you are fortunate enough to have. Precious wisdom can be gained from their stories.
- Cousins. We must not forget our cousins. For those who were raised near aunts and uncles during our childhood (like I was in the 1960’s & 1970’s), many of our cousins became “adopted” siblings. That is how close we have become, even to this day.
- Friends, especially those that have been a part of my life since the early days. Some friends will fall into the “family” category for many reasons.
If a particular religion/denomination expects me to distance myself from any of the above, I will not be a part of it. This goes for political parties, organizations, fraternities, social, private groups, etc.
Both in the Old and New Testament we will find verses that specifically mention welcoming and loving enemies. How could I put conditions on my love? No, not possible.
Well, these are my personal feelings and observations.
It’s Summer and flowers are blooming everywhere. Have a wonderful day and month!
Millie Padilla 