I am leaving myself open here. I am brutally honest with my self-assessment.

I recently took part in an online seminar on Civility. The video was short, about 15 minutes, and allowed participants to ask and answer questions. It was an interesting discussion.

The presenter, who taught Theology, chose to review the process of civility upward to understanding. Yes, there was a downward process that ended in violence. Mrs. Scully decided to stay within an outcome that, I believe, would lead us to a respectful and graceful acceptance of others’ opinions.

In this series I will blog on what made me stop and think. I decided to listen to the video several times and then reflect on what made me uncomfortable.

Preparation

In the preparation section there were two items covered under “ambiguity.” One: seeing life in black and white without the benefit of the grey shades that are also part of our daily lives. Two: Group thinking that I often refer to as “following” the crowd.”

For me, one of things I suddenly realized was that I went from seeing life in black, white, and grey to seeing most things in black and white, especially politics. Oh dear, what a shock I felt in this realization. It made me feel… well, I do not know what exactly. Let us just say it was like a dark feeling in my gut. I was less understanding, compassionate, in fact, less loving.

I now understand that it is important that I get back to a place where I can open my eyes wide to see all the shades of life.

How did I get here?

I believe that in the last few (several?) months I have allowed myself to be influenced by the drama that I was seeing on social media. It was a slow and subtle process that took over my commonsense.

For example, if someone disagreed with me, what specifically did they agree with? Why? A specific example I will use is the death penalty. I personally do not believe in the death penalty because there have been too many innocent people executed found to be innocent afterwards. An innocent life taken by error through misinformation or lies, is unacceptable. The other person may have the belief of, “an eye for an eye” which may stem from a personal tragedy or something else. I do not have to agree with them, but I have a better understanding of their view. We can continue to be gracious, respectful, and loving in all our conversations.

I had to give this serious thought. I have prided myself on being able not to quickly make a judgement about people or situations by asking myself questions.

Here is what I found myself doing these past few months:

• I responded to a post by a FB friend. She asked a question, a reasonable question. I responded by including a link to the webpage that would answer her question. Well, she was not satisfied and decided to respond in a way that told me she was looking to just disagree. Foolish me, I fell for those back-and-forth comments on her post. Eventually I just stopped.

• The other example, which made me slide into the dark and dirty social media drama, was responding to someone’s comment on one of my posts. Then it would lead to a back and forth which was so fruitless. Again, I would have to just stop responding.

However, those types of encounters made me fall deeper into the “drama” of social media. I spend precious time scrolling through posts that I would normally ignore and commenting with childish emojis that were not satisfying.

What is my course correction strategy?

I decided to take concrete steps to eliminate the harmful habit using the theory that it will take 30 days to overcome habits.

1. I “muted” the friends/followers for 30 days that were insistent on making comments that I consider fruitless. This way their posts will not appear in my feed. I also only give a quick glance at posts that are controversial…too easy to fall back into the drama.
2. I avoid searching for people on social media to read their posts, add as friends, or just follow their pages. It really is not a “need” that will improve my physical, mental, or emotional health at this time. I have enough resources that support these needs.
3. It has been a practice of mine that on Sundays, except for my daily morning greetings, I would stay away from social media. I have decided to add Saturday to this practice. I can use the time for more beneficial activities.
4. After the 30 days I will review how I have progressed. If necessary, continue the process for another 30 days.

I hope this blog encourages some of you to become self-aware of how you may be reacting or responding to outside influences that draw you into a harmful drama environment.

Here is the link to the short video on Civility: https://youtu.be/vTMH9fQA66Y

Have a blessed day,