As I have mentioned in my other posts, these are my thoughts, what I believe and what I have learned. In sharing, I hope to provide some a perspective in healing and growing.
In my last blog post, which was the day before election day, I wrote about taking the time to relax, breathe and discern. It was a week where emotions were all over the place. It is now just over a week since the Election Day, and I see comments on social media that many are now experiencing new emotions on top of the ones they had the previous weeks and months. So, I will refer to one or two suggestions from my first Civility blog post on October 16, 2024.
In early October after taking part in the Civility Webinar, I took time to do some prep work to find a way to a more authentic relationship with everyone. Not just family, friends, co-workers, etc. but with everyone I meet. I fell into the drama of the political environment and understood the effect it had on my emotional, spiritual, and mental state. I took specific steps to return to someone who looks at everyone as people who want the best for ourselves, our families/friends, community, and our country.
My recommendation is to stop seeing anyone who has a different view as an opponent or enemy because of religious/political. Unfortunately, that is where so many of us. We need to move toward healing, mending our strained relationships, bringing compassion and, if necessary, forgiveness to anyone we believe offended or hurt us. This requires generosity. mercy and support where needed.
- “Mute” your family/friends and followers on social media that post comments that upset you. It is not necessarily beneficial to see those posts. It is their right to post them, but your choice can be to not see them.
- A practice of mine has been to stay off social media (except for my morning greetings to all) on Sunday. I included Saturdays. I honestly recommend taking a day off social media and replenishing your mind and soul.
Now that I have provided a quick review of my first two posts, I will continue with Politeness and Respect.
I will begin with definitions that I found on google that felt right for this blog.
Politeness is outward behavior during personal interactions. It includes good manners and adhering to social conventions.
Respect acknowledges that you see others’ dignity and have a genuine interest in engaging others authentically.
A quote from Evelyn Hall says it all: “I disapprove of what you say. But I will defend it to the death your right to say it.” We all need to accept this as it applies to every one of us. I think one of the best ways to begin is avoid reaction while in that moment of “personal judgment emotion” that is reflective of your belief. Allow time to calm your thoughts and feelings. Remember what your relationship was and is with that individual.
I often reflect on my past with family and friends. A time when politics, religions and peer pressure had no influence on our relationship.
I have family members who have a completely different political view/opinion. They also have a different understanding of what it means to follow Christ. In fact, for most people, the type of differences in these two areas becomes a reason to break the sacredness of family that our parents taught us.
Honestly, I do not understand this. Both my parents did not agree on many things. There was one thing that no-one, ideology, or physical distance could come between them. They were there for each other. In good times, challenging times and when tragedy struck.
Do you know the best thing about that type of relationship? It was always full of love, generosity, and gratitude. That is what I carry with me.
I try to extend this lesson to those outside my family as well. This allows me to be more patient, kind and loving.
I can be polite with everyone I meet. I can respect them as individuals. I can love them as I see them as children of God and so we are spiritual siblings.
Now, I will insert here a bit of honesty. My close friends and family know that I have a sarcastic side to me. Over the years I cultivated that skill. It was my way of avoiding being rude with belittling or cuss words. Over the past 15 years or so I have learned to control that side of me. However, every now and then it does slip out. It has helped me to be more respectful of others.
Take time now to think about your relationships with family and friends. Now that the elections are over, how are they? Do you still feel anger, disappointment, frustration with any of them?
Take a moment now to breathe deeply and think about your past with them. Recall the wonderful times you spent with them. The times you were together, can you recall the love and joy you felt? Do you see periods in your past when you disagreed with them and still kept a great relationship with them?
Do you yearn for a time when your relationship with family and friends was easy going?
If so, work on healing the relationship. Take the time necessary to put a process in place that you are comfortable with and be patient. We have had years to reach the point we are currently at. Be loving and generous to yourself and others.
If not, take time with yourself to mend your heart and mind. To deal with the emotional roller coaster that has been part of the past few years. When you feel you are ready then you can move forward to healing your relationships.
Have a blessed day.
Millie Padilla 