Tag: writing

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Six Month Hiatus – Unintentional and Lesson Learned

I knew it was a while since I had blogged. I just hadn’t realized it was six months. That’s something that happens with age – time flies at the speed of light. Yes, life has a way of reminding me I am in my mid 70’s.

But I am ready to start again…

I was having trouble with my laptop and ignored it. It was 10-12 years old, but I grew attached to it. I understood it’s quirks and I dealt with the slow, very slow, amount of time it took to boot up, bring up programs, etc. You get the point.

I finally had to get a new one. I berated myself for waiting so long to get a new one. Especially when I realized the difference in how much, in much less time, I could carry out. I do wish I had gotten my new laptop at least 3 or so months earlier.

I learned a lesson. Well, I guess you can say, I learned two lessons: one was a reminder of something I forgot, and the other was a new lesson.

First, becoming attached to material things is not good. Most of us know and understand that material possessions can get control over us if we become too attached to them.

In my case it was my comfort level with my laptop that came with me from New York to Arizona. Holding on to that provided a comfort level but hindered my ability to properly focus on doing things what brought me pleasure. It also helped me to feel inadequate while working on some projects.

I didn’t need the laptop to remind me of New York City. I had my memories. I will always have my memories. A laptop is replaceable. A memory is not.

Of course, I got my new laptop. Once I got it set up and working, I was able to work more smoothly. This allowed me to release the stress levels that taken hold of me and prevented me from properly and efficiently working on my projects.

Second, the new lesson I learned is about material possessions and emotions.

The situation I met with a bad working laptop gave way to my pondering on why I held on so tightly to it, especially as my frustrations with it grew. I had wonderful, beautiful, and potent memories about New York, family and friends, Memories my Catholic upbringing, my parish, where I learned about social justice in action. Memories about jobs, co-workers, and training events.

I had to wonder why I “needed” a tangible item to remind me of my time in New York or any other place for that matter. I can rationalize why one would want a token, such as a small statue of the Eiffel Tower to remember a visit to Paris. A religious item from visiting a cathedral. Even rocks or seashells which can be used as decorative items. But a laptop?

But truth is the attachment was emotional response to fill a need. For me, I think it was to help me feel that I can do as well in Arizona as I did in New York. My physical limitation became more pronounced with time which is why I moved to Tucson.

Well, It’s September. The Autumn season is near and although I will miss seeing the changes in nature in the Northeast & Northwest, I will be able to enjoy the cooler nights here with open windows.

A time for new beginnings and new ideas to emerge to uplift my life and, hopefully, others.

Blessings to you and your family.

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Flowers & Relationships: My thoughts and Observation

When I think of relationships, especially family and special friends, I think of flower arrangements from a garden. Alive, colorful, vibrant, different and in need of constant care.

I have a family member whose husband recently entered hospice care. Caring for a family with Alzheimer’s is extremely difficult and takes its toll physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The depth of the toll depends on how long the illness lasted and if there were other complications associated with it. Having experienced this as a caregiver for my dad, who was also my best friend, was beyond difficult. I am praying for her and her family.

I am writing about this because her mother, who lived in Florida, would welcome me with open arms and was gracious and generous with her time. She passed away a few years ago. I miss my Sunday calls with her. My cousin, as well, welcomed me and took me out a couple of times. I especially remember the time we went to the Keys and enjoyed a couple of drinks, sharing stories about our childhood. I am forever grateful for her kindness. I hope she knows how much I love her and her family.

Why am I sharing this?

We are family through my mother’s side of the family. There is a bond in our maternal family that is extremely strong, special and, I believe, unbreakable. I pray that all in the family feel the same.

Why am I mentioning this now?

As part of a family, all members, be it parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins, we have opinions that often differ. This is true in my maternal and paternal family. It is how we individually manage the differences of opinions that defines how much we honor and respect others to have and express their opinion. I also firmly believe it defines if my love is conditional or unconditional.

I have learned that when anyone has a different opinion, especially if I start to get annoyed, to remind myself to step back for a moment or two. Give myself time to remember that loving is unconditional and that getting annoyed may be putting a condition to that love.

My loyalty comes from my faith. First is God. In sequential order it is this:

  1. God
  2. My parents. Whether they were great, good bad or terrible, I do believe the commandment to “honor” thy mother and father.
  3. If married: children until they can care for themselves and then spouse.
  4. Siblings: these are the people that shared your childhood and many, if not all, transgressions should be forgiven.
  5. Grandparents, if you are fortunate enough to have. Precious wisdom can be gained from their stories.
  6. Cousins. We must not forget our cousins. For those who were raised near aunts and uncles during our childhood (like I was in the 1960’s & 1970’s), many of our cousins became “adopted” siblings. That is how close we have become, even to this day.
  7. Friends, especially those that have been a part of my life since the early days. Some friends will fall into the “family” category for many reasons.

If a particular religion/denomination expects me to distance myself from any of the above, I will not be a part of it. This goes for political parties, organizations, fraternities, social, private groups, etc.

Both in the Old and New Testament we will find verses that specifically mention welcoming and loving enemies. How could I put conditions on my love? No, not possible.

Well, these are my personal feelings and observations.

It’s Summer and flowers are blooming everywhere. Have a wonderful day and month!