Why I Started this Blog

I wrote the heading of this blog post several days ago. I sat down at my desk with my laptop in front of me ready to start typing. Then my mind started to get bombarded with questions that paralyzed me. Who am I that people would want to read what I write? What could I possibly share that would interest others? My life experiences are not unique so would they be of value to others?

Then I remembered two things.

First, I created this blog site to add purpose to my daily life. I am retired and no longer have a job after almost 55 years. Due to health issues, I am physically limited in what I can do. As a woman in her early 70’s, my memory is not what it used to be. My days were really spent watching television, napping and on social media. I eventually began to feel that I was numb most, if not all the time. Withdrawn from the outside world except when I visited with friends, family (in person or through Zoom) or Bible Study. But even when I participated in those activities there was always a part of me that was detached.

In other words, I was physically surviving (barely) but mentally and emotionally letting myself go.  I have been seeing a neurologist for my memory issues.  He referred me to a Neuropsychologist for testing for memory issues, depression, PTSD, etc. That took just over three hours. I am still waiting for the official results of all the tests.

My conversation with the neuropsychologist took approximately 45 minutes was one part of the evaluation.  At the end of that conversation, she shared that she suspected that part of my issue may be caused by “ennui” (boredom, no purpose), long-term moderate depression.

Well, that was quite an eye opener. I had not realized that after having helped raise a nephew, working for long hours, being a caregiver to a mother, sibling, and father and until their passing and having health issues myself, I would suddenly have nothing to do.

The second thing I remembered was that I wanted to have purpose again. For me that meant that I would have to find something I loved to do that would benefit others and find a way to share it. My answer was to create a blog where I can share my thoughts on a variety of things, my personal beliefs and how they helped – or hindered – me, how I looked at myself and the world around me and what I have experienced and what I learned from those experiences. In addition, I would share what I am currently learning, what resources I am using to improve my mental, emotional, spiritual health and, maybe, I will share some humorous stories from my past.

For now, that’s it. Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

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